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It’s no secret that sex in a long-term relationship can start to get a bit, well, dry.
Couples tend to become so comfortable with each other that they don’t always make an effort in the bedroom – and once you get out of the habit of having sex, it can be hard to pick it back up again.
It’s not only the frequency of sex though, it’s also the quality. Many people are guilty of being a bit lazy with their long-term partner, so the sex can get a bit ‘samey’, with any sense of adventure going out the window.
Of course, there are also loads of good things about sex in long-term relationships. You know each other’s bodies and desires inside out, you’re less likely to worry about any insecurities, and a deep intimacy can lead to some truly mind-blowing pleasure.
So, how do you spice things up and make sure that your long-term relationship sex doesn’t tip over from comfortable to boring?
UK model, Belle Grace, has shared her top tips to spice things up in the bedroom with your long-term partner:
Let’s talk lingerie
‘When it comes to lingerie, don’t feel forced to go out of your comfort zone,’ says Belle.
‘If you don’t like how it looks and feels on you, you probably won’t feel your hottest in the bedroom. You should always feel hot, sexy, and confident to get the most out of your lingerie.’
While it’s always fun to experiment, Belle says you should also make sure you feel really good in what you’re wearing – so you can focus more on your partner and not on being uncomfortable or self conscious.
‘Another great option to ensure you have a flawless lingerie experience is to work with a sales associate when purchasing your new pieces,’ she adds.
‘They are trained on ensuring you find the best option for your body type and something that correctly fits your bust and bum.’
Time to take control
To be confident in the bedroom Belle says you need to be confident in yourself.
‘The best way to take control is to get on top. He/she/they will love it,’ says Belle.
‘Go down on your partner and show them what you can do first, don’t skip over the foreplay.
‘I always suggest 10-15 minutes of foreplay to really get into the groove of things and get your partner excited for what’s to come.
‘Most importantly, feel sexy and enjoy every minute – if you enjoy it, they certainly will too.’
Do the unexpected
‘We all have some sexual fantasy that we may not have been able to play out in real life quite yet,’ says Belle. Adding that you should go for it.
‘Switching things up in the bedroom is going to keep your adrenaline pumping and keep you and your partner from falling into that sexual rut,’ she says.
‘Are you both into porn but never watched it together? It’s definitely going to get things heated.
‘Be open with your partner about what you want to try and be open to hearing their wants and needs as well.’
Add in extras
‘I’m a big fan of oils,’ says Belle. She says using heated massage oils is great for setting the mood and transitioning into foreplay.
‘If you’re not sure how to start getting things going in the bedroom, a massage is a great way to break the physical barrier,’ she says.
‘Utilise this time to tease your partner and get them into the right mood before committing to anything more. This will ensure you are both on the same page and will drive them absolutely crazy.’
Food in the bedroom?
Whipped cream, melted chocolate… you’ve seen it in the films – but does it work in real life?
‘Food is a playful way to reintroduce a new form of touch into your bedroom,’ says Belle.
‘Adorn your body with chocolate syrup or dollops of whipped cream and invite your partner to do the rest of the work.
‘It is a win-win for you both, while introducing a new form of foreplay.’
There are so many toys out there to try, so Belle, who uses OnlyFans, suggests shopping for toys together.
‘Always allow yourself to follow your curiosity,’ she says.
‘By shopping together, you’re not only getting to know what your partner likes, but you are also starting to build the sexual tension knowing you can play with your new purchases later.
‘There are a ton of partner toys such as vibrating panties where your partner can be in charge of the controller in a more discreet form of play.’
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