Trashiest Wedding Horror Stories As Told By Guests

3.

“I went to a wedding in a police station cafeteria that was Matrix-themed. The groomsmen wore floor-length leather jackets and tiny sunglasses. They insisted on calling each other ‘Neo’ and ‘Amorphous’ while high-fiving each other. It was painful. There was a lot of tension at the wedding because the groom cheated on the bride a few weeks earlier, but she still decided to marry him. His family was trashy and took the view that their son cheated because the bride wasn’t good enough for him. Her family was pissed that she took him back, and her sister’s Maid of Honor speech was very sarcastic. Everyone who knew the story was cringing. The groom’s dad was so drunk and was grinding with some woman. His wife saw and started screaming at him. They wouldn’t stop fighting, so they cut the music and had the four-piece high school band play classical music. It included a squeaky clarinet and was very bad.”

“The MC made a slideshow of images from the movie with the groomsmen’s faces badly photoshopped on. At one point, the groom’s drunk dad stood up and told a long and convoluted story about a wife giving teaspoons of sugar to God. It made no sense and had very sexist undertones. He was cut off.

When it started pouring rain, people tried to leave politely. Last thing I saw was the groomsmen running to their cars with their trench coats folded up over their heads to protect their tiny sunglasses, while the band played the squeaky Matrix theme song. It was amazing.” —u/Damn_Canadian